I am sitting on a plane to California. I am in New York thousands of miles from Israel hundreds from LA and scared. Ryan sits behind me and says, "I'm not ready to go back..." And as much as I can't wait to be back home I don't think I am really ready either. I mean I'm avoiding writing about the past week...1. Because I'm starting to see that my writing isn't going to fully encompass my experience. 2. Because too much has happened and I don't know if I'll remember it all. 3. When I finish writing this, these three weeks are over. Never the less this past week deserves a major shout out so I'll try my best.
Wednesday after our normal classes at Neve on mind blowing subjects that I barely get through awake, we were off to Netanya for horseback riding. Not even pictures could describe the beauty of this beach. It's so crazy to go from the Old City or Har Nof and then a place like Netanya. As our bus driver Harel would say (insert israeli accent) " you see, dis place have everything, dis best place, most beautiful country...we have mountains, city, beach, forest." And right about then the english he knew would cease to be able to fully express how he felt about his home.
This kind of place, "mountains, forest, beach, city" kinda reminds me of my home, CA. But Israel, what I would like to now consider my second home, has an energy of overwhelming pride, spirituality, and it should, I mean this stuff is OLD! older than you can comprehend. And even after being there I can barely comprehend it's holiness myself.
The horses were nice...mine was named Joni...Joni Mitchell...maybe not, but anyways after trotting where the clear tourquise water met the sand so fine it felt like flour, we sat at a beach side cafe to eat hummus, tahina, pita and fruit smoothies, We were serenaded by yashiva boys as the sun descended. That night we had a banquet style dinner of course ended with more singing, I am really gonna miss that.
I then went to a jewelry type fair nearby were I of course bought myself some stereotypical israeli gifts like hamsas, hamsa bracelets and so on. After seeing a man get stabbed in the face with a fork it was time to kick it back to Neve for Thursday would be "Discovery Day" ( learning at Aish Ha-Torah.in the old city). You could see the Kotel from the window! In the beautiful air conditioned building we learned about The Big Bang Theory and its place in the Torah creation story, the scary ways in which history has been repeating itself to detail from Purim to the Nuremberg trails. And lastly and most frightingly the Torah Codes. Now I don't want to explain them here, because they are so unbelievable that they are believable. But basically its were science and Torah come together. It is known that every event and that everything that has happened is in the Torah in a code from 9/11 to the Holocaust to Hurricane Katrina EVERYTHING!!! Now I know you don't believe me because you weren't there to see this presentation but lets have a chat :) After the 9am-6pm Discovery program which left people with some permenant chills and stuff to think about. I then made a trip to the Kotel and was even more moved now, I wrote this poem. I am scared to share but I find it relevant to the sharing of my journey. ( SEE POEM)
After my second Kotel trip, bagels and some shopping at Ben Yahuda. Sara and I somehow got the idea to get our noses peirced, ahhhhhh....I don't know what really inspired me...but by the time I had decided " Hey, maybe I shouldn't get my nose pierced in Israel..." it was too late. The Israeli man had already put that needle in my nose!!! Can I say this hurt more than both my tattoos!!! FML! it really hurt. But it was only 25 dollars. So I figured if not now...when. But really...it hurt. I mean BAD.
I felt like I couldn't move my face and then it was swollen which was normal...right? except when I woke up Friday I could barely see the ring because it was like swollen over it. And also...I had a stye so basically my face was like swollen for our last Shabbat.
Friday we went to Geula and Meah Shearim...for the ultra, ultra, ultra, orthodox experience. This is the time where you say DO NOT JUDGE JUDAISM BY ITS PEOPLE. We wore our most conservative outfits. Skits to the floor, closed toed shoes, and long sleeves/high necklines. Because if we didn't we could get yelled at, thrown beach on or thrown rocks at. Now not only do you need to dress a certain way. But you need to keep walking, no standing on the streets. Do not talk to the opposite sex or touch them...don't even look at them. There are seperate check out lines in stores for men and women in certain places. But this only one teeeeny tinnnyyy spot of Israel as a couple streets over are the Yehuda Shook you will find the very opposite. Pushing and shoving at all men and women alike. The shook has basically everything from food, to jewelry, to clothes. It's like that sex and the city scene but 10x more crowded and of course we went right before Shabbat. This was also the place were I sweat the most and really thought I might have a heat stroke....worth the deals? maybe...I didn't buy much there.
After the Shook, we were off to Ramat Bet Shemesh, the place I would want to live if I ever moved to Israel. It's mostly americans that have made Aliyah. I stayed with a family that the mother went on my trip years ago and never came back to the US! They were wonderful hosts and had 3 beautiful blond babies that were such good kids! Lots of energy! We had dinner and oneg, and I was with Sara the whole time which was a perfect way to end it all. We had lunch with our family and basically slept the whole day. We finished our 3rd and last shabbat with a great 3rd meal and gathering all together....I am really gonna miss these people...I am just starting to get to love them and know them!
The next couple of days are a blur to me because I am writing about them months later....but all I can say is that they were good. I of course was getting sad and scared to leave. I remember I did have a tear when we touched down in LA. I felt so ready to start my new life with the brand new awareness of the world, but I knew it was gonna be hard and it was.
I want to go back as soon as I can! But I know it won't be the same because we had such a great group. You ALL have such a place in my heart.
I don't know how many times you can be this blessed in one life time. Hopefully there isn't a maximum.
I don't even know how to end this...Blog...it scares me...
But I know that these experiences have made me, ME and therefore they won't be forgotten...right?
Baruch Hashem
Monday, September 6, 2010
A Poem I wrote after my second trip to the western wall
This is pretty free hand and completely unedited.
I walk backward without caution
as the long shadow of those to come approach me.
I pray to have this comfort of NO FEAR till the next time I visit the Kotel
I pray for NO MORE FEAR
The warm Israeli sun dries
my salty tears of pain and love as I feel Hashems vibrations
in the smooth and sturdy wall
I pray for Clarity
The long skirt brushes
my legs as the wind sweeps up the wishes and thoughts to the heavens
where souls from years before listen as they have been here too
I pray for love in humanity, and trust in myself
And that my faith in G-d will grant me these things
and more
for he has plans for me to prosper
I pray for safety
For my brother 'isreal'
That G-d is there for him
as he is here for me now
I pray for peace of mind
I pray to live passionately
all my years my soul is Rachael Nicole Jimenez ( Sarah Chava bas Chava )
And that I will return again soon.
I pray to understand that Hashem is not only here but everywhere and he hears me
loud and clear
please help me have no fear
I walk backward without caution
as the long shadow of those to come approach me.
I pray to have this comfort of NO FEAR till the next time I visit the Kotel
I pray for NO MORE FEAR
The warm Israeli sun dries
my salty tears of pain and love as I feel Hashems vibrations
in the smooth and sturdy wall
I pray for Clarity
The long skirt brushes
my legs as the wind sweeps up the wishes and thoughts to the heavens
where souls from years before listen as they have been here too
I pray for love in humanity, and trust in myself
And that my faith in G-d will grant me these things
and more
for he has plans for me to prosper
I pray for safety
For my brother 'isreal'
That G-d is there for him
as he is here for me now
I pray for peace of mind
I pray to live passionately
all my years my soul is Rachael Nicole Jimenez ( Sarah Chava bas Chava )
And that I will return again soon.
I pray to understand that Hashem is not only here but everywhere and he hears me
loud and clear
please help me have no fear
Patience
I have really been working on my patience this trip. I am usually very controlling and pushy and fast paced when it comes to travel and stuff of the sorts. But this time I swore I would just let things come and try not to control as much and its been working pretty well. I have barely complained because with that perspective there is not much to complain about. Until today however after a long night of stress and such an early morning were I just HAD to go get a bagel because this Neve food ( white bread and Hot Pink Jelly) is killing me slowly. Then we had class. The first one of course I was dozing and the second R'Marcus...my favorite, talk on "Alef" and other Torah secrets. Then it was my last meeting with Shira, I can't believe time went so fast...but when doesn't it...We exchanged contact info so she can be my Israel go to, to answer questions via email. The last class had to do with college campuses and Anti-Semitism. I had no idea other schools like UCSD and Northridge have problems like CSUF and Irvine. We are never alone. It's comforting to know that there are definite ways to combat peacefully. And that this issue is not going unnoticed.
After a quick lunch I contemplated not going cave crawling due to the heat and my exhaustion and the little things I had to do in town. But then I realized I'M IN ISRAEL!!!!! I gotta go! And so I went only to get to the caves, wait for 30 minutes for a group before us to go through and then somehow we decided we didn't want to wait...so we left and went to see a viewpoint. This actually pissed me off! I was not okay with this! I couldn't for some reason get over it...PATIENCE...gone...So no caves. I guess this is just another part of a higher plan....so to make things a little better we had a "nice" dinner...bread...and actually a really nice concert with American/Jewish music. Then I was off to Ben Yahuda, to get some shecks finally and check the email. So in the end it was all okay and I guesss the stress was for nothing. Talking to Cat and Soph really helped too. Now I am off to bed because I need to catch up on sleep....
Didn't I just tell you guys that I have been patient and not complianing....wellll....we all have our moments
After a quick lunch I contemplated not going cave crawling due to the heat and my exhaustion and the little things I had to do in town. But then I realized I'M IN ISRAEL!!!!! I gotta go! And so I went only to get to the caves, wait for 30 minutes for a group before us to go through and then somehow we decided we didn't want to wait...so we left and went to see a viewpoint. This actually pissed me off! I was not okay with this! I couldn't for some reason get over it...PATIENCE...gone...So no caves. I guess this is just another part of a higher plan....so to make things a little better we had a "nice" dinner...bread...and actually a really nice concert with American/Jewish music. Then I was off to Ben Yahuda, to get some shecks finally and check the email. So in the end it was all okay and I guesss the stress was for nothing. Talking to Cat and Soph really helped too. Now I am off to bed because I need to catch up on sleep....
Didn't I just tell you guys that I have been patient and not complianing....wellll....we all have our moments
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
The Champions
I don't think I could even explain what's happening right now in Tel Aviv on the bus. I am trying to escape the stress by an ipod and a paper and pen. I write not only to escape but to do it before I get home which looks like it is gonna be around 3am by the looks of our missing students and stolen passports...BH none of them where mine. Today was so long I'm forgetting what we did already. So of course we had classes, which contained more relationship advice and secrets of Torah. I met with Shira to discuss my judgments of myself and others and how or if I can overcome them. I mean is it realistic to walk around without judgement at all? No...thats not really obtainable. So I must find peace in judging everyone favorably...that's the key..."simple?" and obvious but according to everything we are taught to be is truth is within us all along, you just have to look hard.
I then attempted to enjoy lunch which I am getting pretty sick of cucumber and tomato...okay mom...I believe you now!
And so off to Tel Aviv. We went to a blind Museum! This was such a life changing experience! A museum in complete darkness led by a blind person through rooms and situations. So basically for 45 min I and my group where blinded. The challenge is to use your other senses to get through. Of course with some help from our guide. So at first I was terrified. We were led into rooms that were like a jungle, a river boat, a market place, a concert and a cafe were we had to pay blind and eat blind and got to ask our guide questions about what it is like live blind. By the end I really began to not feel bad for the blind but rather appreciate how much they get out of life from all the other senses. I suggest this experience to all.
Now on to a great dinner in Tel Aviv and a "beautiful" night on the beach that had a bar that extended to the waves. We smoke hookah and drank a SOTB with the flour like sand under our feet and 85 degree ocean waters. But there were a lot of Jelly fish so it was scary to go in the dark.( NO MORE HOSPITAL VISITS PLEASE). How can I mention that all the mellow people did this and all the crazies ( that i love so so much!! )went to the club and thought it was a great idea to meet us...which for social reasons of course it's a great idea...but OYYYY....The large amount of people, drunk only added to the unpaid $200 shecks, thefts of wallets and passports and missing people...
The people came back but the other things were gone for good. A few panic attacks later ( literally), we were off safe with Harel! BLESS HIS SOUL!
Of course the aviator soundtrack was playing on my ipod during the later part of these events. And I sat there in the dark staring straight ahead thanking Hashem I didn't lose anything but my sleep.
TRUE CHAMPS we are I like to think...TRUE CLASS
I then attempted to enjoy lunch which I am getting pretty sick of cucumber and tomato...okay mom...I believe you now!
And so off to Tel Aviv. We went to a blind Museum! This was such a life changing experience! A museum in complete darkness led by a blind person through rooms and situations. So basically for 45 min I and my group where blinded. The challenge is to use your other senses to get through. Of course with some help from our guide. So at first I was terrified. We were led into rooms that were like a jungle, a river boat, a market place, a concert and a cafe were we had to pay blind and eat blind and got to ask our guide questions about what it is like live blind. By the end I really began to not feel bad for the blind but rather appreciate how much they get out of life from all the other senses. I suggest this experience to all.
Now on to a great dinner in Tel Aviv and a "beautiful" night on the beach that had a bar that extended to the waves. We smoke hookah and drank a SOTB with the flour like sand under our feet and 85 degree ocean waters. But there were a lot of Jelly fish so it was scary to go in the dark.( NO MORE HOSPITAL VISITS PLEASE). How can I mention that all the mellow people did this and all the crazies ( that i love so so much!! )went to the club and thought it was a great idea to meet us...which for social reasons of course it's a great idea...but OYYYY....The large amount of people, drunk only added to the unpaid $200 shecks, thefts of wallets and passports and missing people...
The people came back but the other things were gone for good. A few panic attacks later ( literally), we were off safe with Harel! BLESS HIS SOUL!
Of course the aviator soundtrack was playing on my ipod during the later part of these events. And I sat there in the dark staring straight ahead thanking Hashem I didn't lose anything but my sleep.
TRUE CHAMPS we are I like to think...TRUE CLASS
I think I could stay :)
I haven't written in awhile. Things like this (writing) suffer when you start to really become present here. Again there is a card game going on in my room and talking about the day and of course some pretzels. People eat a shit ton of pretzels here... I basically don't want to see white bread, pretzels or really any bread for a large amount of time, TODA! So lets catch up here...quickly of course because I really do want to go and type these soon...but maye I'll have to wait...boo...lets start with Thursday. Things are starting to get less touristy ( minus the large bus) That we twist and turn through the Jerusalem streets in. I'd also like to note here that I have not thrown up in one week! BH! :) Thursday was some more good classes on Shabbat and Torah you know...which were I swear interesting but i am just getting exhausted so it was hard for me to get through. The afternoon was a mandatory seminar at Ner'Lelef regarding questions like the difference between animals and humans (freewill...ect.) and how important keeping the Jewish race alive is because really its a miracle we have survived. Jews make up 8% of the US population and 2.8% of the world! Now think about this....Jews should technically be unheard of but ask anyone and they will probably know what a Jewish person is or at least heard the term! CRAZY!
After this lecture I decided to take it easy at Ben Yahuda with some delicious veggie food and coffee bean. The seminar that night was my favorite so far. We discussed values and attempted to figure out why we wake up everyday!? What's the point? What's Rachael Jimenezs point!? We had to choose 10 of 50 values and I chose: Friendship, Judaism, Truth, Justice, Success, Loyalty, Spirituality ( G-d), Passion, self development and creativity. We then had to pick 5 which wasn't so bad, I picked : Spirituality, Passion, Justice, Truth, and Friendship. The next step was 2 and put them in order...this was hard. I had to really think about..."why do I do what I do? what do I believe in most?" I came up with 1. Spirituality (G-d) and 2. Passion. Sound like me? Today, yes.
Now the point is that keeping Shabbos is a time to celebrate what you really believe in, your values. I went to sleep with more than enough to think about including laundry and packing for Shabbos ( our trip to Tsfat, Galalie, Tiberias, Jordan River and a hike to remember).
Friday came and I was so excited for Shabbat. I needed it! And after all this week I was in need of good Shabbos food. I was excited to exercise my challah pacing ( as in don't eat a shit load of challah because you won't be able to eat the other 3 courses). First though we went to beautiful Tsfat! Which reminded me of a more crowded ( jewish) Mykanos. Filled with Art and jewelry shops in the midst of ruins. I finally got one of those Israeli wrap skirts. Can't wait to wear it in Cali! After a delicious salad we were off to a not so delicious orthodox hotel...can I say...wait maybe I won't say...
But besides the awful smell of the lobby, crowded with orthodox Israelis with at least 10 screaming children each. The rooms reminded me of a run down Motel 6 but we had it lucky because some girls had lizards, roaches, pee coming out of the shower, and blood stained sheets. WEEEEE! I nearly starved the food was so unappetizing. Sara is now considering becoming a vegetarian. But despite the little discomforts we got to sleep in till 11am and have wonderful learning sessions full of meditations and stories all by my favorite Rabbi Katz. I actually got a one on one with him about the entertainment career and Judaism and how do I keep holy considering the profession I am interested in. Ask me about the answer as it is personal and better to relate to in person. Needless to say, I have a lot to think about.
We ended Shabbos with a beautiful sunset over the sea of Galalie and we celebrated on a small boat with drums and Israeli music and dancing. I know there are videos! I hope people post them eventually.
Sunday we were right back to work, minus the classes. We wre off to an intense "Birthright" day full of serious hikes to a waterfall after driving through a minefield. And of course kayaking with Sara on the Jordan river! Being the 4th of July and all me and only two other people wore red white and blue...sad. I would have loved to go celebrate but after a three hour bus ride back to Jerusalem I just wasn't feeling it. Which is weird because if you know me you know it's my favorite Holiday!
So right around the end of week two I am feeling like I could stay forever and never go back and that it would just be easier that way. I am now already planning my next trip to Israel. And I have a Liz Gilbert moment and I'm like STOPPP!!! YOUR HERE!! LOOK UP!
So yes I will come home and on the 4th of July of all days I am feeling like I miss the good ol' ( not as ol' as Israel) USA...and of course Starbucks
After this lecture I decided to take it easy at Ben Yahuda with some delicious veggie food and coffee bean. The seminar that night was my favorite so far. We discussed values and attempted to figure out why we wake up everyday!? What's the point? What's Rachael Jimenezs point!? We had to choose 10 of 50 values and I chose: Friendship, Judaism, Truth, Justice, Success, Loyalty, Spirituality ( G-d), Passion, self development and creativity. We then had to pick 5 which wasn't so bad, I picked : Spirituality, Passion, Justice, Truth, and Friendship. The next step was 2 and put them in order...this was hard. I had to really think about..."why do I do what I do? what do I believe in most?" I came up with 1. Spirituality (G-d) and 2. Passion. Sound like me? Today, yes.
Now the point is that keeping Shabbos is a time to celebrate what you really believe in, your values. I went to sleep with more than enough to think about including laundry and packing for Shabbos ( our trip to Tsfat, Galalie, Tiberias, Jordan River and a hike to remember).
Friday came and I was so excited for Shabbat. I needed it! And after all this week I was in need of good Shabbos food. I was excited to exercise my challah pacing ( as in don't eat a shit load of challah because you won't be able to eat the other 3 courses). First though we went to beautiful Tsfat! Which reminded me of a more crowded ( jewish) Mykanos. Filled with Art and jewelry shops in the midst of ruins. I finally got one of those Israeli wrap skirts. Can't wait to wear it in Cali! After a delicious salad we were off to a not so delicious orthodox hotel...can I say...wait maybe I won't say...
But besides the awful smell of the lobby, crowded with orthodox Israelis with at least 10 screaming children each. The rooms reminded me of a run down Motel 6 but we had it lucky because some girls had lizards, roaches, pee coming out of the shower, and blood stained sheets. WEEEEE! I nearly starved the food was so unappetizing. Sara is now considering becoming a vegetarian. But despite the little discomforts we got to sleep in till 11am and have wonderful learning sessions full of meditations and stories all by my favorite Rabbi Katz. I actually got a one on one with him about the entertainment career and Judaism and how do I keep holy considering the profession I am interested in. Ask me about the answer as it is personal and better to relate to in person. Needless to say, I have a lot to think about.
We ended Shabbos with a beautiful sunset over the sea of Galalie and we celebrated on a small boat with drums and Israeli music and dancing. I know there are videos! I hope people post them eventually.
Sunday we were right back to work, minus the classes. We wre off to an intense "Birthright" day full of serious hikes to a waterfall after driving through a minefield. And of course kayaking with Sara on the Jordan river! Being the 4th of July and all me and only two other people wore red white and blue...sad. I would have loved to go celebrate but after a three hour bus ride back to Jerusalem I just wasn't feeling it. Which is weird because if you know me you know it's my favorite Holiday!
So right around the end of week two I am feeling like I could stay forever and never go back and that it would just be easier that way. I am now already planning my next trip to Israel. And I have a Liz Gilbert moment and I'm like STOPPP!!! YOUR HERE!! LOOK UP!
So yes I will come home and on the 4th of July of all days I am feeling like I miss the good ol' ( not as ol' as Israel) USA...and of course Starbucks
Friday, August 6, 2010
Really
So I'm sitting Jaffa Street in Jerusalem with some great girls with my great coffee bean ( Kosher, of course ) and attempting to focus and write about the past two days but part of me feels like I'm missing out by looking down at my journal, but let me tell you, it's not that bad since all I've been doing is engaging in conversation and thinking and evaluating and not gonna lie stressing about going home already even though I have a week and a half left. I could extend? But responsibility calls. I gotta move in my beautiful new house with my girls and my trip to AZ is coming up. I have at least two more trips to Palm Springs and getting ready for what will be the rest of my new life. So you can see why I am a little distracted at times. But most of time I really am present here. I am really working on that as well as a WHOLE lot of other things. So you know when its like late at night and you end up having a deep conversation with a friend that ends up being 3 hrs and changes your life...well thats kinda what this is like all the time. We are self discovering while brushing our teeth. Never ending learning....the "jewish way". It's the most exhausting fullfilling thing I have been a part of.
So back to Tuesday. Class, class, and more class. Self discovery, Judaism and sexuality, relationships and basically that I have been doing everything wrong...surprise? NOT REALLY. Ask me about this its really interesting and I would love to talk about it in person. In the afternoon we went to Yad Vashem. The Holocaust museum of Israel. I feel like this is something everyone should see at least once. Even if that means going to the Tolerance Museum or the one in D.C. it should be mandatory that you know these stories. I know when I attend these museums that the images of such torture and cruelty are vivid and almost a visceral experience. It's a heavy sadness that you want to be able to fully comprehend but you can't really. This museum was so detailed and like Judaism nothing was placed by accident, including the architecture. I was deeply moved once again by the stories of the survivors and chilled by the pictures and descriptions of the what took place. Of course I have heard stories before and gone to museums and learned about this my whole life, but I will never think "Oh Ya...I've heard that before", I hope no one feels that way about the Holocaust, because once it becomes that way we might forget and we must NEVER FORGET. It is my job as a Jew and as a human being to know history, so I can be a part of "NEVER AGAIN".
After the museum we went to the main mall in Jerusalem where I bough some religious clothes...can't wait to show you guys :). and funny Israeli fashion items. After some falafel we headed back to Ben Yahuda BACK to Constantine....which I swore I would never return...after a swallow of the Israel equivalent of Popov, appropraitly named "Perfect", we entered the club where it was just our group. Sometimes things the second time are really not good at all. So I tried to leave but the security gaurd proceeded to yell at me in Hebrew and as I went to escape by him he raised his hand to me...uhhhh...scary...and told me I couldn't leave for an hour. WTF! So I called Thalia to come save me which she did. I was okay now. But REALLY!!! That was my last time at Constantine.
I haven't really been waking up too tired even though we basically go out everynight. Wed morning of course there were classes and I am so overwhelmed by such wisdom and truth that as I've been saying its really difficult to take it all in. I can only hope that somehow if I ever get into a situation where I can use this knowledge I'll be able to access it. A few topics for today included reincarnation, Torah and more of it's secrets. The afternoon was filled with everything stereotypical "The Israel experience". We went to the land of Genesis in the desert where we got a "Bible experience". We entered a tent, but not just any tent, the tent of Abraham where an actor (with a south african accent) told his story, the story of Abraham, and shared with us dried fruit, pita baking and a little hebrew lesson where we wrote with a piece of wood and ink on a postcard. I sent it to Mom and Dad..maybe they'll get it. Lastly I rode a camel....which was a little cruel because I don't think they really like it too much... I had a great camel partner Ariella! WOOT! So basically it felt like riding a horse as we crawled up a hill no longer than some Palos Verdes driveways which I am kinda glad these poor camels do not have to do too much in the hot sun. Poor babies :(. After we went to an awful food court that is suppose to be really great...but I REALLY could not eat any more falafel. So I got cucumber roll...ehhhhh....well just imagine. Quickly after were were off to another home to listen to a speaker talk about Shomer Negiah. A practice that some jews keep that includes not touching the other sex at all. Sound Crazy? well talk to me about it...it may seem ridiculous but its probably the most valid thing I have heard so far. Please ask me about this one, I would love to have a chat. uh-oh the "brainwash" is working.
So of course I went to Ben Yahuda, even though I shouldn't have. But it was Ariellas birthday!!! So of course I couldn't say no. So we went to a cute Israeli cafe were I got tea and some some more debate and questioning. Another late night and No i didn't send my postcards or do my laundry, but thats just the way it goes.
So back to Tuesday. Class, class, and more class. Self discovery, Judaism and sexuality, relationships and basically that I have been doing everything wrong...surprise? NOT REALLY. Ask me about this its really interesting and I would love to talk about it in person. In the afternoon we went to Yad Vashem. The Holocaust museum of Israel. I feel like this is something everyone should see at least once. Even if that means going to the Tolerance Museum or the one in D.C. it should be mandatory that you know these stories. I know when I attend these museums that the images of such torture and cruelty are vivid and almost a visceral experience. It's a heavy sadness that you want to be able to fully comprehend but you can't really. This museum was so detailed and like Judaism nothing was placed by accident, including the architecture. I was deeply moved once again by the stories of the survivors and chilled by the pictures and descriptions of the what took place. Of course I have heard stories before and gone to museums and learned about this my whole life, but I will never think "Oh Ya...I've heard that before", I hope no one feels that way about the Holocaust, because once it becomes that way we might forget and we must NEVER FORGET. It is my job as a Jew and as a human being to know history, so I can be a part of "NEVER AGAIN".
After the museum we went to the main mall in Jerusalem where I bough some religious clothes...can't wait to show you guys :). and funny Israeli fashion items. After some falafel we headed back to Ben Yahuda BACK to Constantine....which I swore I would never return...after a swallow of the Israel equivalent of Popov, appropraitly named "Perfect", we entered the club where it was just our group. Sometimes things the second time are really not good at all. So I tried to leave but the security gaurd proceeded to yell at me in Hebrew and as I went to escape by him he raised his hand to me...uhhhh...scary...and told me I couldn't leave for an hour. WTF! So I called Thalia to come save me which she did. I was okay now. But REALLY!!! That was my last time at Constantine.
I haven't really been waking up too tired even though we basically go out everynight. Wed morning of course there were classes and I am so overwhelmed by such wisdom and truth that as I've been saying its really difficult to take it all in. I can only hope that somehow if I ever get into a situation where I can use this knowledge I'll be able to access it. A few topics for today included reincarnation, Torah and more of it's secrets. The afternoon was filled with everything stereotypical "The Israel experience". We went to the land of Genesis in the desert where we got a "Bible experience". We entered a tent, but not just any tent, the tent of Abraham where an actor (with a south african accent) told his story, the story of Abraham, and shared with us dried fruit, pita baking and a little hebrew lesson where we wrote with a piece of wood and ink on a postcard. I sent it to Mom and Dad..maybe they'll get it. Lastly I rode a camel....which was a little cruel because I don't think they really like it too much... I had a great camel partner Ariella! WOOT! So basically it felt like riding a horse as we crawled up a hill no longer than some Palos Verdes driveways which I am kinda glad these poor camels do not have to do too much in the hot sun. Poor babies :(. After we went to an awful food court that is suppose to be really great...but I REALLY could not eat any more falafel. So I got cucumber roll...ehhhhh....well just imagine. Quickly after were were off to another home to listen to a speaker talk about Shomer Negiah. A practice that some jews keep that includes not touching the other sex at all. Sound Crazy? well talk to me about it...it may seem ridiculous but its probably the most valid thing I have heard so far. Please ask me about this one, I would love to have a chat. uh-oh the "brainwash" is working.
So of course I went to Ben Yahuda, even though I shouldn't have. But it was Ariellas birthday!!! So of course I couldn't say no. So we went to a cute Israeli cafe were I got tea and some some more debate and questioning. Another late night and No i didn't send my postcards or do my laundry, but thats just the way it goes.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
One Week is Done???
HOW DID I GET HERE?
I always say that...but it's true, I kind of can't believe I have been here for a whole week. So by now I am over this jet lag but I am still exhausted. My feet will not stop swelling but so it is, and I mean I'm doing pretty okay after the past couple of vomiting incidents. SO...GO ME! Oh and every night as we are on the bus back I always turn to Sara and say, "tonight were just gonna pass out", as in no talking or things JUST SLEEP...of course that was before 10pm and now its almost 3 and everyone has just left our room after a good late night schmooze and some spiritual guidance and now I can write for yesterday and today!
It's true what Devon said today about feeling like she needed some time alone to really process whats being thrown at us here. I mean we are living in Israel...in Har Nof...at Neve...with All girls...being taught life lessons and Judaism. We are constantly searching for answers through our tutors and study groups not to mention the continuous conversations and connections made on the long bus rides and whatever "breaks" we have. I mean I made a joke that as much as this trip is like therapy for my soul. I am sure to be heading towards an identity crisis. I see how holy these women live their lives with their families and I think...why isn't that enough for me? What am I not willing to sacrifice to do that? I don't know...A lot of things and I really want to be okay with that.
Event wise, yesterday was a tour of the city of David which of course it blew my mind that I was standing in the spot where Solomon became King! A city and it's Ruins 3,800 Years old! Really I think it's too large for me to understand so I will leave it at that...We got to be in water tunnels that were straight out of Indiana Jones or something. Led by flashlight ( Or lack of one...I forgot) us girls trudged through ancient waterways of the city of David waist high in freezing water...okay it wasn't that cold...But you know what was really cool...or weird...I can't really decide which one... The tour of Japanese tourists in the tunnel began to sing in what I think was Hebrew in lovely harmonies. Now that's an interesting and surprising blessing! We girls were then inspired to sing our songs! "TO have no fear, have no fear at all" it was a beautiful and inspiring moment down there in the tunnels. THIS IS ISRAEL. After the tunnels we as a whole JAM trip gathered at a home for pizza, icebreakers and a moving "Seminar" from Rabbi Doniel Katz again. I am really starting to feel connected to these people now. We are all putting our guards down little by little :).
This seminar was all my fears in one hour long speech. I don't think I could explain how I really feel here...so I guess ask me about it later. All I can say is I understand why keeping Sabbath is important a little more now. And that being able to see each other, a chair, a ladder, and ourselves as modern art by it's definition can be really moving and restful. I started to feel like my desires to perform and go into this industry could be wasted time if my goal in life was really to be closer to Hashem. I have a lot to think about. As of now I see myself living in love and light with mitzvahs galore under my reform laws and style. It fits me today and I don't want to push. As much as I do that already. Not with this.
As the days go by and more wisdom is accumulated it may get easy to be overwhelmed and resistant, but as of now I have never felt more clear headed in Israel. I will keep asking questions, buying souvenirs and eating hummus...
I guess day 7 really does come with peace of mind. Thank You, Hashem, I know your on my side :)
I always say that...but it's true, I kind of can't believe I have been here for a whole week. So by now I am over this jet lag but I am still exhausted. My feet will not stop swelling but so it is, and I mean I'm doing pretty okay after the past couple of vomiting incidents. SO...GO ME! Oh and every night as we are on the bus back I always turn to Sara and say, "tonight were just gonna pass out", as in no talking or things JUST SLEEP...of course that was before 10pm and now its almost 3 and everyone has just left our room after a good late night schmooze and some spiritual guidance and now I can write for yesterday and today!
It's true what Devon said today about feeling like she needed some time alone to really process whats being thrown at us here. I mean we are living in Israel...in Har Nof...at Neve...with All girls...being taught life lessons and Judaism. We are constantly searching for answers through our tutors and study groups not to mention the continuous conversations and connections made on the long bus rides and whatever "breaks" we have. I mean I made a joke that as much as this trip is like therapy for my soul. I am sure to be heading towards an identity crisis. I see how holy these women live their lives with their families and I think...why isn't that enough for me? What am I not willing to sacrifice to do that? I don't know...A lot of things and I really want to be okay with that.
Event wise, yesterday was a tour of the city of David which of course it blew my mind that I was standing in the spot where Solomon became King! A city and it's Ruins 3,800 Years old! Really I think it's too large for me to understand so I will leave it at that...We got to be in water tunnels that were straight out of Indiana Jones or something. Led by flashlight ( Or lack of one...I forgot) us girls trudged through ancient waterways of the city of David waist high in freezing water...okay it wasn't that cold...But you know what was really cool...or weird...I can't really decide which one... The tour of Japanese tourists in the tunnel began to sing in what I think was Hebrew in lovely harmonies. Now that's an interesting and surprising blessing! We girls were then inspired to sing our songs! "TO have no fear, have no fear at all" it was a beautiful and inspiring moment down there in the tunnels. THIS IS ISRAEL. After the tunnels we as a whole JAM trip gathered at a home for pizza, icebreakers and a moving "Seminar" from Rabbi Doniel Katz again. I am really starting to feel connected to these people now. We are all putting our guards down little by little :).
This seminar was all my fears in one hour long speech. I don't think I could explain how I really feel here...so I guess ask me about it later. All I can say is I understand why keeping Sabbath is important a little more now. And that being able to see each other, a chair, a ladder, and ourselves as modern art by it's definition can be really moving and restful. I started to feel like my desires to perform and go into this industry could be wasted time if my goal in life was really to be closer to Hashem. I have a lot to think about. As of now I see myself living in love and light with mitzvahs galore under my reform laws and style. It fits me today and I don't want to push. As much as I do that already. Not with this.
As the days go by and more wisdom is accumulated it may get easy to be overwhelmed and resistant, but as of now I have never felt more clear headed in Israel. I will keep asking questions, buying souvenirs and eating hummus...
I guess day 7 really does come with peace of mind. Thank You, Hashem, I know your on my side :)
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