This is the end...my friend

I am sitting on a plane to California. I am in New York thousands of miles from Israel hundreds from LA and scared. Ryan sits behind me and says, "I'm not ready to go back..." And as much as I can't wait to be back home I don't think I am really ready either. I mean I'm avoiding writing about the past week...1. Because I'm starting to see that my writing isn't going to fully encompass my experience. 2. Because too much has happened and I don't know if I'll remember it all. 3. When I finish writing this, these three weeks are over. Never the less this past week deserves a major shout out so I'll try my best.

Wednesday after our normal classes at Neve on mind blowing subjects that I barely get through awake, we were off to Netanya for horseback riding. Not even pictures could describe the beauty of this beach. It's so crazy to go from the Old City or Har Nof and then a place like Netanya. As our bus driver Harel would say (insert israeli accent) " you see, dis place have everything, dis best place, most beautiful country...we have mountains, city, beach, forest." And right about then the english he knew would cease to be able to fully express how he felt about his home.

This kind of place, "mountains, forest, beach, city" kinda reminds me of my home, CA. But Israel, what I would like to now consider my second home, has an energy of overwhelming pride, spirituality, and it should, I mean this stuff is OLD! older than you can comprehend. And even after being there I can barely comprehend it's holiness myself.

The horses were nice...mine was named Joni...Joni Mitchell...maybe not, but anyways after trotting where the clear tourquise water met the sand so fine it felt like flour, we sat at a beach side cafe to eat hummus, tahina, pita and fruit smoothies, We were serenaded by yashiva boys as the sun descended. That night we had a banquet style dinner of course ended with more singing, I am really gonna miss that.

I then went to a jewelry type fair nearby were I of course bought myself some stereotypical israeli gifts like hamsas, hamsa bracelets and so on. After seeing a man get stabbed in the face with a fork it was time to kick it back to Neve for Thursday would be "Discovery Day" ( learning at Aish Ha-Torah.in the old city). You could see the Kotel from the window! In the beautiful air conditioned building we learned about The Big Bang Theory and its place in the Torah creation story, the scary ways in which history has been repeating itself to detail from Purim to the Nuremberg trails. And lastly and most frightingly the Torah Codes. Now I don't want to explain them here, because they are so unbelievable that they are believable. But basically its were science and Torah come together. It is known that every event and that everything that has happened is in the Torah in a code from 9/11 to the Holocaust to Hurricane Katrina EVERYTHING!!! Now I know you don't believe me because you weren't there to see this presentation but lets have a chat :) After the 9am-6pm Discovery program which left people with some permenant chills and stuff to think about. I then made a trip to the Kotel and was even more moved now, I wrote this poem. I am scared to share but I find it relevant to the sharing of my journey. ( SEE POEM)

After my second Kotel trip, bagels and some shopping at Ben Yahuda. Sara and I somehow got the idea to get our noses peirced, ahhhhhh....I don't know what really inspired me...but by the time I had decided " Hey, maybe I shouldn't get my nose pierced in Israel..." it was too late. The Israeli man had already put that needle in my nose!!! Can I say this hurt more than both my tattoos!!! FML! it really hurt. But it was only 25 dollars. So I figured if not now...when. But really...it hurt. I mean BAD.

I felt like I couldn't move my face and then it was swollen which was normal...right? except when I woke up Friday I could barely see the ring because it was like swollen over it. And also...I had a stye so basically my face was like swollen for our last Shabbat.

Friday we went to Geula and Meah Shearim...for the ultra, ultra, ultra, orthodox experience. This is the time where you say DO NOT JUDGE JUDAISM BY ITS PEOPLE. We wore our most conservative outfits. Skits to the floor, closed toed shoes, and long sleeves/high necklines. Because if we didn't we could get yelled at, thrown beach on or thrown rocks at. Now not only do you need to dress a certain way. But you need to keep walking, no standing on the streets. Do not talk to the opposite sex or touch them...don't even look at them. There are seperate check out lines in stores for men and women in certain places. But this only one teeeeny tinnnyyy spot of Israel as a couple streets over are the Yehuda Shook you will find the very opposite. Pushing and shoving at all men and women alike. The shook has basically everything from food, to jewelry, to clothes. It's like that sex and the city scene but 10x more crowded and of course we went right before Shabbat. This was also the place were I sweat the most and really thought I might have a heat stroke....worth the deals? maybe...I didn't buy much there.

After the Shook, we were off to Ramat Bet Shemesh, the place I would want to live if I ever moved to Israel. It's mostly americans that have made Aliyah. I stayed with a family that the mother went on my trip years ago and never came back to the US! They were wonderful hosts and had 3 beautiful blond babies that were such good kids! Lots of energy! We had dinner and oneg, and I was with Sara the whole time which was a perfect way to end it all. We had lunch with our family and basically slept the whole day. We finished our 3rd and last shabbat with a great 3rd meal and gathering all together....I am really gonna miss these people...I am just starting to get to love them and know them!

The next couple of days are a blur to me because I am writing about them months later....but all I can say is that they were good. I of course was getting sad and scared to leave. I remember I did have a tear when we touched down in LA. I felt so ready to start my new life with the brand new awareness of the world, but I knew it was gonna be hard and it was.

I want to go back as soon as I can! But I know it won't be the same because we had such a great group. You ALL have such a place in my heart.

I don't know how many times you can be this blessed in one life time. Hopefully there isn't a maximum.

I don't even know how to end this...Blog...it scares me...
But I know that these experiences have made me, ME and therefore they won't be forgotten...right?

Baruch Hashem

A Poem I wrote after my second trip to the western wall

This is pretty free hand and completely unedited.

I walk backward without caution
as the long shadow of those to come approach me.
I pray to have this comfort of NO FEAR till the next time I visit the Kotel
I pray for NO MORE FEAR
The warm Israeli sun dries
my salty tears of pain and love as I feel Hashems vibrations
in the smooth and sturdy wall
I pray for Clarity
The long skirt brushes
my legs as the wind sweeps up the wishes and thoughts to the heavens
where souls from years before listen as they have been here too
I pray for love in humanity, and trust in myself
And that my faith in G-d will grant me these things
and more
for he has plans for me to prosper
I pray for safety
For my brother 'isreal'
That G-d is there for him
as he is here for me now
I pray for peace of mind
I pray to live passionately
all my years my soul is Rachael Nicole Jimenez ( Sarah Chava bas Chava )
And that I will return again soon.
I pray to understand that Hashem is not only here but everywhere and he hears me
loud and clear
please help me have no fear

Patience

I have really been working on my patience this trip. I am usually very controlling and pushy and fast paced when it comes to travel and stuff of the sorts. But this time I swore I would just let things come and try not to control as much and its been working pretty well. I have barely complained because with that perspective there is not much to complain about. Until today however after a long night of stress and such an early morning were I just HAD to go get a bagel because this Neve food ( white bread and Hot Pink Jelly) is killing me slowly. Then we had class. The first one of course I was dozing and the second R'Marcus...my favorite, talk on "Alef" and other Torah secrets. Then it was my last meeting with Shira, I can't believe time went so fast...but when doesn't it...We exchanged contact info so she can be my Israel go to, to answer questions via email. The last class had to do with college campuses and Anti-Semitism. I had no idea other schools like UCSD and Northridge have problems like CSUF and Irvine. We are never alone. It's comforting to know that there are definite ways to combat peacefully. And that this issue is not going unnoticed.

After a quick lunch I contemplated not going cave crawling due to the heat and my exhaustion and the little things I had to do in town. But then I realized I'M IN ISRAEL!!!!! I gotta go! And so I went only to get to the caves, wait for 30 minutes for a group before us to go through and then somehow we decided we didn't want to wait...so we left and went to see a viewpoint. This actually pissed me off! I was not okay with this! I couldn't for some reason get over it...PATIENCE...gone...So no caves. I guess this is just another part of a higher plan....so to make things a little better we had a "nice" dinner...bread...and actually a really nice concert with American/Jewish music. Then I was off to Ben Yahuda, to get some shecks finally and check the email. So in the end it was all okay and I guesss the stress was for nothing. Talking to Cat and Soph really helped too. Now I am off to bed because I need to catch up on sleep....

Didn't I just tell you guys that I have been patient and not complianing....wellll....we all have our moments